Christopher’s Celebration of Life ??

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It’s harder to organize my thoughts these days, so I’ve made a top 10 list of the things that I learned from Christopher:

1. No filters. Our friendship was based on this. Long inappropriate talks over coffee that covered any subject, every subject. At the end of the day, people appreciate honesty. And are often shocked by it. But usually walk away feeling that they got to see the real you. And if you are kind and genuine, that is always a good thing.
2. Always be kind. There’s no reason not to be. This doesn’t make you weak. It makes you incredibly strong.
3. I was the glitter to Christopher’s neat freak. Christopher hated glitter. I’m so grateful that he loved me. And for the record, he was totally wrong about glitter. It’s an argument we’ll continue to have in my mind every time I glitter the hell out of something. The world always needs more glitter. (He would argue I could use a little more neat freak... but whatever.) He allowed everyone the space to be themselves. And loved them FOR it, not inspite of it. WHAT A GIFT! And he did have glitter... it was in his eyes. They sparkled. He was a beautiful man.
4. That brings me to #4. Be yourself. Being anything but that is exhausting. And people will see right through you.
5. Christopher taught me that there is always time for Starbucks. Or maybe I taught him. Maybe we just enabled each other. In truth... he what he taught me is that it’s as important to make time for yourself as it is to care for others. He talked about his years here as being a time that he found purpose & meaning. He felt like he CHANGED LIVES. And he DID. But when he got his diagnosis, he quickly decided to leave. Not because he didn’t love all of the people he shared his life with here tremendously. He truly did. But because he knew it was also important to make time for himself. And that giving 100% of yourself to someone else doesn’t mean you can’t make keep space for you. Love everyone all the time. But love yourself too. When you were with Christopher, he was present. Fully. Nowhere else. And when he made time for himself, it was his, no apologies. He was so damned smart. This one is hard. I’m still working on it.
6. There is no love like the love of a good dog. Unconditional. Unreserved. Warm. Completely without malice. We should all be more like dogs.
7. I learned to be a better parent from Christopher even though he didn’t have any biological children of his own. My child Sage was one of his students. They shared a friendship that went beyond the classroom. He was able to push my them and encourage them in ways that I couldn’t see to do. When I was worried about them getting hurt, he could see past that to the opportunity to stretch and grow. He always did. And in those moments, Sage saw some of the best moments of personal victory and growth that they ever had. AND SO DID I. It was so powerful. For both of us. I will be forever grateful for that. So was Sage. So will Zach be, someday... but those double flips are still going to give me grey hair.
8. Well...my top 10 list stops at 8. Because if Christopher taught me anything it was don’t get hung up on convention. You do you. You’re all kind of awesome in your own way. Help each other remember that.